Fixing the Past
by thegirlwhocametowrite
Summary: Hutch encounters an old enemy from the past, reigniting his fears
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

SOMEWHERE IN BAY CITY

"Hey, watch it, will ya?!" Hutch screamed as he threw out his hands, smashing them into the dash.

"I'm trying to get this creep, if you'll let me drive!" Starsky slammed his foot onto the gas pedal, throwing his partner into his seat. He jerked the wheel to the left, executing a nearly perfect j-turn, and bumped up over the curb.

Hutch rubbed his shoulder. "You call this driving?" Starsky mumbled something under his breath. Chuckling, Hutch picked up the CB "This is Zebra Three. We are in pursuit of a brown 1976 Dodge Monaco. License number...TQ dash 424."

"There he is." Starsky smiled. "We got him!" The Dodge in front of them sped up and made a sharp left into an alleyway.

"Well, they're certainly not from around here, are they?" Hutch commented.

"Oh, why's that?" Starsky jerked the wheel.

"This alley leads to a dead-end." Unbuckling his seat belt, Hutch pulled his gun from the holster under his arm. He clicked back the hammer. Once the car came to a stop, the blond threw open his door. "Stop! Police!"

The answer came as a hail of gunfire. A man jumped over the hood of the Dodge and drew his gun. "Watch it, Hutch!"

"I see him! I see him!" Hutch aimed his gun at the man and fired. Clutching his chest, the man fell to the pavement. "You got the other one yet?"

"What oth-?" was all his partner could get out. A bullet ripped the sleeve on his jacket.

"Starsk!"

"I'm all right!" he grabbed his bloody arm. "Get him!"

Hutch took aim. "Wait! Wait!" The man in the car threw his gun out the window. "I give up!" He threw up his hands and pushed the door open. "I'm surrendering!"

"Now you surrender!" Hutch pulled out a pair of cuffs and walked to the prisoner. He smiled at the man, who smiled back, and slammed him onto the hood of the car, cuffing his hands. "Your partner shoulda done the same. Come on."

"Hutch?"

"Get in there." He threw the seat back into position. And slammed the door on the pleading man in the back. "Yeah, Starsk? You okay?"

"Can I borrow your shirt?" Hutch looked taken aback.

"My-my shirt? What for?"

"What for? For my arm. Do you see this?"

"Why can't you use your shirt?"

Starsky threw him a shocked look. "This shirt cost twenty dollars!"

BAY CITY HOSPITAL, ER WAITING ROOM

"This is why you both need to be more careful!" Dobey paced the waiting room floor in front of Hutch. "How many time have I told you that?"

Hutch sat back in his chair and looked toward the examination room, where Starsky had been for the past 30 minutes. He hoped it wasn't too bad. But that bullet sure did cause a lot of blood. He looked down at a patch of blood on his pants and closed his eyes.

"Well, I can tell you this, Hutchinson, one more slip up like this and you're liable to end up dead."

"Captain." Hutch rubbed his forehead. "The guy was hiding in the back. We couldn't have seen him without getting right up close. Then we would have been dead."

"Don't get smart with me, Hutchinson." The door opened and Starsky stepped out, his arm bandaged. "And you!" Dobey turned on him.

"What'd I do?" Starsky stopped in his tracks.

"You got shot! That's what you did!" Dobey pointed accusingly at him.

"Look, it's just a scratch. All I needed was a couple stitches, that's all." Starsky held up his arm, showing off the bandage wrapped around it. "I'm fine. Still in working condition." As proof, he flapped his arm up and down.

"All right, all right. You can put up the bird act, Starsky." Dobey rolled his eyes. "You have a case and I want the both of you ready and at the station in one hour."

"Sure, captain." Hutch motioned for Starsky to follow him and turned and exited the waiting room. Starsky, behind him, turned to face Dobey and mouthed the words "Fine. Just fine."

"Go, on Starsky!" Dobey hollered.

"Starsky?" Hutch popped his head into the doorway, trying to conceal a smile.

"Yup."

"Come on." The blond grabbed his partner's collar and dragged him through the door, slamming it behind him. Dobey stood and massaged the bridge of his nose. What was he ever going to do with those two?

CAPTAIN DOBEY'S OFFICE, METROPOLITAN POLICE STATION

Dobey looked up from his paperwork to see Starsky and Hutch outside his door, smiling at someone. Starsky had a candy bar in his hand. Obviously, neither one was focused on the new case Dobey had found for them. He watched them for a moment, his patience growing thinner and thinner. Finally he had enough and snapped "Get your butts in here, you two! This isn't a social hour, you know!" Whoever was in the hall distracting the detectives took their cue to leave. Reluctantly Hutch entered the room, followed by Starsky, popping the last bit of chocolate into his mouth. "Close the door, Hutchinson."

Hutch did as he was told. After the door had clicked shut and the bustle of the hallway was shut off, Dobey looked Hutch in the eye. Hutch frowned. "What's up?"

Dobey sighed and folded his hands on the desk, leaning forward as he did so. His expression grew grim. "An old acquaintance of yours has just been sprung."

"Oh? And which one would that be?" Starsky chuckled to himself and caught Hutch's eye. Hutch leaned against the door. Silent. Frowning.

Dobey didn't answer. Finally, Hutch broke the tense silence in the room. "Who is it, Captain?"

"Ben Forest." Dobey's eyes drifted up and caught sight of Hutch, who had gone pale. He looked away to Starsky, who was staring, wide-eyed at Hutch. Starsky stood and walked to Hutch.

The blond opened the door, but Starsky put a hand against it before Hutch could make his escape. "Hutch? You okay, buddy?" The expression Hutch threw at his partner made Starsky take an involuntary step backward. He had never seen such a fearful look on Hutch's face. Hutch shook his head.

"I gotta go." Hutch walked through the door, but before he had the chance to close it, Dobey called after him.

"Hutchinson." Dobey stood and walked to the center of the room. "Take a break and come back in when you're ready. We'll talk about the case then. All right?" Dobey received no reply from Hutch other than the too-gentle closing of the office door.

STAFF PARKING LOT, METROPOLITAN POLICE STATION

Out in his car, Hutch leaned on his steering wheel. Ben Forest. He turned the name over and over in his head. Sweat started to bead on his forehead. Then Monk popped into his head. He swore he could fell the needle entering his vein. Hutch grabbed his arm and clamped his eyes shut.

That had been the worst experience of his life. It took two months for the nightmares to go away. To stop waking in cold sweats. Now it was all hitting him straight in the face. The nightmare had come back to take him.

Then he thought of Janine and the pain seemed almost worthwhile for a moment. He wished she had stayed with him, that she was here now to comfort him as she had when he was tied up, out of his mind on that bed.

Hutch leaned back into the headrest, eyes still closed. Suddenly, a knock at his window broke him away from the memory. Starsky smiled at him through the glass and walked over to the passenger side door. Hutch leaned over and opened the door for his partner. Starsky slammed the door as he sat down.

"You really oughta get rid of this piece of shit, you know." He tore off a strip of the ceiling upholstery and handed it to Hutch. Hutch chuckled and threw it into Starsky's face. "You okay?"

Hutch shrugged. "It just seems new again, you know? Fresh. It feels like it just happened this morning."

"But it didn't. It was two years ago."

"Yeah, I know, Starsk!" Hutch snapped. He looked away. "Sorry."

Starsky put a hand on Hutch's shoulder. "Don't be. This is gonna be a rough case, buddy. Can you handle it?"

"I have to." Hutch stared into Starsky's eyes. "For my sake. Closure."

Starsky nodded. "Dobey says he's up to his usual business. And you're back on his watch list. Wants to get even with you."

Hutch laughed. "Oh, I'll show him getting even." He said to himself. He looked to see if Starsky had heard him mumble. If he had, it didn't show. Hutch smiled. Wanna get some lunch?"

"If it's your treat, why not?"

"Who said it was my treat?

"You did."

"Oh, I did?"

"Yeah." Starsky grinned. Laughing, Hutch started the car and pulled out of the station.


	2. Chapter 2

**MCDONALD'S**

After deciding on hamburgers for lunch, Hutch pulled his Ford into the McDonald's parking lot. They ordered in, but opted to eat outside by the car. Starsky ordered two double cheeseburgers with fries. Hutch ordered only a Coke. He said he wasn't hungry, but Starsky pretended not to notice his fries slowly disappearing while he wasn't looking. As they ate, they chatted about girls, who had a date and when, about cases they'd just finished, and the paperwork they had yet to complete. Then there was silence.

"You ready to talk about it yet?" Starsky said through a mouthful of cheeseburger. Hutch shrugged at him and fiddled with his straw. Starsky sighed. "You've gotta tell someone about it at some point." Hutch shoved a few fries into his mouth and avoided Starsky's gaze. Irritated, Starsky sighed and crumpled up the wrappers in front of him. He turned and tossed them at the trash can where they bounced off the rim and fell to the ground. Cursing, Starsky stomped over and slammed the wrappers into the trash can.

Hutch wiped the grease from his fingers and looked up at Starsky with watery eyes. "Not here, okay? Not here." Starsky walked behind his partner and put his hands on Hutch's shoulders.

"All right. Let's go home, huh?" Starsky opened the door and slipped into the driver's seat. Much to his surprise, Hutch didn't argue, but sat silently in the passenger seat.

**HUTCH'S APARTMENT**

Starsky climbed out of the Torino and walked up to the front steps. He was about to open the door when he realised his partner wasn't behind him. He turned back to the car. Hutch stood, leaning against the car. "Something wrong?" Starsky asked. Hutch shook his head.

"Not looking forward to this, that's all."

Starsky smiled lightly and held out his hand. "Come on, buddy." Hutch peeled himself from the car and strode slowly up the steps. When he got to his door, he placed his hand on the knob and took a deep breath. He closed his eyes and pushed the door open. Hutch waved for Starsky to enter. Starsky smiled and took a seat on the couch.

"You want a beer?" Hutch closed the door and walked into the kitchen.

"What? Oh, yeah. Sure." he nodded. Hutch laid two coasters on the coffee table and set the beers on top of them. Starsky looked at them and laughed.

"What?" Hutch looked genuinely confused.

"Kinda hard to drink beer through the cap, don't you think?" he laughed again and Hutch smiled. "I'll open 'em. You sit tight." Starsky said as he picked up the bottles and headed for the kitchen. Upon his return, he found Hutch sitting red-eyed in the corner of the couch. He sniffled and looked up at Starsky. Starsky tilted his head. "Oh, Hutch." He put the beers down on the table and sat down next to Hutch.

"Starsky, why does it have to be him that's back, huh? Out of every bad guy we've dealt with, why him?" Hutch appealed to his friend. Starsky put an arm around Hutch. Hutch leaned closer toward him.

"I don't know, buddy. I don't know. But I wish I did." Tears started to form in his eyes. "You see what you're doing to me?" Hutch looked at Starsky and chuckled.

"Pansy." he teased. Starsky looked mock-offended.

"Oh, _I'm_ the pansy? Mister "I-put-my-beer-on-a-coaster" here." They both looked at the drinks on the table and laughed. It was a real and needed laughter that made them both feel better. "So," Starsky slapped Hutch's knee, "what are we gonna talk about?"

Hutch shrugged. "I'm not sure. I just-it feels like I need to relay what happened."

"I read the report, you know."

"I know." Hutch nodded. "I think everyone in the department read it. But what's in that report is just an overview. All the details are still in here." he tapped his temple.

"I wanna hear it, Hutch." Starsky looked into Hutch's eyes.

Hutch stood from the couch and paced the living-room floor. "All right. Um...well, w-where do you want me to start?"

"Where do you need to?" Starsky took a swig from his beer.

"Jeanie." Hutch nodded and sighed. "With Jeanie."

"Why Jeanie?"

"I don't know! I just-It's my fault, Starsk. She could have stayed. She...we could have been happy together."

"You didn't ask her to marry you." Starsky paused. "Did you?"

Hutch shook his head sadly. "No, I didn't. Almost, though."

"She wouldn't have stayed, you know, Hutch."

"Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I just wish she would've. That she did." Hutch turned to Starsky. "I miss her, Starsk. I really do." Starsky held out Hutch's beer to him. Hutch took it and drank greatfully. He had downed half the bottle when Starsky stopped him.

"Hey!" Starsky touched Hutch's elbow. "Easy there." He extended his hand for the drink. Hutch looked longingly at it as he handed it over. "That's a good boy. Now, you were talking about Jeanie."

"Right." Hutch began again. "She was in trouble from the get-go, you knew that." Starsky nodded at him. "When Forest had his guys grab me, they knew that we had been seeing each other. And that I knew where she was hiding." Hutch's voice began to quiver. "When they started to-I would give up anything to get another fix. And I did." Tears fell down his cheeks. "I did." Hutch turned to Starsky. "Think of what they could have done to her, Starsk! And it would have been my fault!"

"That's a lie and you know it!" Starsky yelled. "Come on, Hutch! Think for a minute. Did you take that heroin? Huh?" Hutch shook his head. "So, it wasn't your fault. They did that to you and they were the ones who endangered Jeanie. Right?"

"Right." Hutch wiped his eye and nodded. "You're right, Starsk."

"All right." Starsky took a deep breath and leaned back into the couch. "Now, moving away from Jeanie."

Hutch thought for a moment, pacing as he did. He opened his mouth to say something but shook his head and discarded the thought. Then he started to rub his arm. He winced and clamped his eyes shut. "I guess the next biggest thing is taking the drugs."

Starsky handed Hutch his beer and took a swig of his own. This wasn't going to be pleasant. He had seen plenty of victims in court breaking down at having to relive memories of their attackers. Now he'd see it in his partner. His best friend. He wanted to get drunk just as badly as Hutch did.

"The first time it was awful. It burned when they started pumping it into me." he rubbed his arm harder and clenched his fist. "I could feel the shit mixing with my blood and moving in my body." Hutch paused and looked up at the ceiling, blinking. Starsky looked at his hand and realised his knuckles were white, he was gripping his beer so tightly. He leaned over and put it down. "But Starsky, when it hit my brain." Hutch's eyes opened wide. "It was incredible. I've never felt anything else like it in my life."

Starsky narrowed his eyes. "Hutch..."

"Starsky, you wouldn't believe it. It was better than sex it felt so good. But when they stopped giving it to me for a day or to then pumping it again, it got so much better. I couldn't wait for the next hit." Hutch was panting now.

"How did it feel when they cut it all together, Hutch? Think about that." Starsky pressed him. He began to grow worried that he'd fall in love with the sensation all over again. He was worried at how much his partner, _A cop, for Christ's sake!_, was glourifying heroin. Starsky wanted desperately to bring him back to reality, even if it had to smack him straight in the face.

"Pain." Hutch moaned. "It's so painful." He wrapped his arms around his head as if trying to protect himself from some unseen attacker. His knees started to shake.

"Hutch!" Starsky jumped off the couch and bolted toward Hutch. Hutch looked at him and dropped to his knees. "Hutch! Hutch. You okay? Huh? Look at me!" Starsky gasped at what he saw. Hutch was crying, his mouth gaping. He was deathly pale. Starsky hugged him as he cried, rocking him back and forth. When, at last, Hutch had regained his senses, he spoke.

"The pain was awful, Starsky. Awful. I couldn't move or breathe. I couldn't think! All I wanted was another fix so it would all go away. Everything seemed okay when I was pumped up. You know what they'd do to me? They'd let me slide almost to the point of being clean. Then they'd jab that fucking needle back into my arm and draw me right back in."

Starsky rocked Hutch gently. "Shh." He cooed. "Shh, Hutch. I know. But you're okay now. You're okay. I'm here with you now and you know there's no way I'm letting anybody near my Hutch, right?" Hutch nodded and started sobbing again. "Let's get you to bed."

He hauled Hutch to his feet and led him to the bedroom. Hutch didn't even bother to get undressed; he curled up on the bed and let Starsky cover him with the blankets. His eyes closed, but he didn't sleep.


End file.
